My little sister weighs about 50 pounds soaking wet, after 17 trips through the Golden Corral buffet.

I'm closer to 200 after more than 20 years of 5:30 AM boot camp classes and a daily diet high in kale chips and water.

We took a hundred pictures on her birthday.  I looked good in ALL of them...except for one.

Which was of course the only picture she wanted to post--the ONE PICTURE where I looked as fat as I actually am.

I was angry, so I ruined all of them for the rest of the day by posing like this.  (You'd have thought they'd maybe stop asking me to be in them, but some people never learn...)

Happy birthday, brat.


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